Jessica Coblentz

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I’ve been thinking a lot about being surprised by God.

On one hand, surprises can be life-altering because they force us into a space of unfamiliarity, and thus, often lead us to a more attentive state of self-awareness. These experiences of enlightened perspective have the potential to change our world-views permanently, and sometimes do.

On the other hand, surprises often challenge what we have taken fore-granted. When our conformable presumptions suddenly appear dubious, we can find ourselves in disillusionment and even despair. It is difficult to change our minds or think differently about once seemingly-obvious things.

When we are surprised by God, we can gain clarity at the deepest level of our being, yet this can also be accompanied by confusion surrounding our most fundamental beliefs.

Since returning home from college, I have found myself in a number of conversations that have left me pondering the many ways in which God has surprised me over the past four years of my life. These discussions often look a little something like this: I’m in a car or around a meal table with a few friends from high school, and someone brings up a topic within the context of religion–be it gender roles or the priesthood or what have you. As I begin to speak, or even just consider my thoughts on the issue at hand, I become anxious, wondering, “Do they have any idea what I really think about this issue? Will they be shocked by what I say? Will they think less of me or my faith if they are?” I have been surprised by God in so many ways since high school, in ways that have changed my conception of God and my ethics dramatically–what will others think of me? It often leads me to doubt myself, and even the very truths that have surprised me.

As I have pondered this week’s Sunday readings, surprise lingers among the verses. In the first reading, the prophet tells of a leader usurped by an outsider. In the New Testament reading, God’s inscrutable wisdom is praised, reminding us that we are wrong to be too proud in our knowledge of God’s ways. In the Gospel reading, Jesus asks, “Who do you say I am?” While he blesses Simon Peter for his reply, we know that even the disciple becomes confused about who Jesus is upon his brutal crucifixion. Even he was surprised by God.

I don’t think that the possibility and reality of spiritual surprise should prevent our attempts at knowing and naming who God is–of course not, I study theology. Perhaps it does caution us, however, and inform the way we think about our beliefs about God:

Do we hold our beliefs so tightly that we are unable to be moved and surprised by God?
Is it possible that an unwavering conviction can turn into a dangerous close-mindedness?
What would conviction look like were it one open to the possibility of surprise?

For a great reflection on the readings, check out spiritual writer Ron Rolheiser’s thoughts here.